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Friday, June 24, 2011

Decission

Already more than one week i left her, i am happy to see her free. I am not the one that may bring her anything, I know from the beginning that everything i did, i dont hope she know or understand. I am selfish sometime, i know not everyone know what am i, but i do force them sometime. So stone.

I remember you told me before, do not think too much for other, think for your own first, if not you will get hurt or not been appreciate. I say it wont happen with tons of confident, but now i do know what you said is right, there's no one know unless you say it out. At the beginning you already see this will happen right? I want to say i am so so so.... SORRY to you. I should listen to you from the very beginning.

Firstly i think maybe i want to give myself a second chance to the relationship, but she instead say no to it. Many people ask me go for the second time, but i fail to do it. I choose to let it go because i dont want to make the one i love suffer. Yea, i am stupid, i say i may not love her at the end, but that not the true, i do love her more than what i expect. Slowly i think it well to let her go for myself and her as well. I just want to forget this feeling as soon as possible so that i wont be in worst situation. I dont care what happen to her and what she did, also what i did wrong in the pass. I just want to forget everything of it.

I talked to my family about that, I choose to leave KBU after my foundation and go oversea for a new life, here too much of bad memories of mine, relationship, family, friend. I wanted a new life which i can be my own. I dont want to act anymore, i want to be what i am, not be who people want me to be, or effected by them.

I am mature or not? There's no one can define for me. If people think you are mature then you are, if people think is not, then you are not. There's no one can said it. Only time can prove it. Lastly, i will go on my life with my own path.